The best joke from Pakistan

Looks like this is not only a country full of Jihadis but also Jokers. That too in very celebrated posts.Like this latest one.

People do go out of mind, I know, but like this !!! I almost died laughing after reading this. Its a must read to every Indian and of course Pakistani as well.

Looks like the Jihadis in Pakistan stormed a mental hospital and liberated all the patients from there to let them lead and represent their people.

Bloody faceless jackass.

Get over it !! How can I ?

To say Mumbai is back is like asking us to get over it. I cannot. Because those images that were beamed into my living room right through the siege in Mumbai are not from a film. It was all real. It was all life.

To say Mumbai is back is to try and sleep over it, which we had been doing all through the years that we have been affected with terrorism. And we could see the result. I am not ready to accept Mumbai is fully back on its heels. Nor am I willing to agree, as an Indian, that life goes like it did before 26/11. Because its not.

What I had witnessed, through the medium of television, was my own helplessness. A sense that has prevailed upon me, even as I was at a distant shore. It still does haunt me as I think about it. And not a day has passed without thinking about it. Nor do I see it happening in the near future.

And it does not help when I read reports like this. An organisation that makes thousands of crores of Rupees in profits every year (Its a money bearing tree, in the words of the Railway minister, to take a quote from one of his Lok Sabha speeches) deciding to spend a paltry Rs. 60 crore to modernise security systems on its premises. Is that all we are ready to spend to secure vital and high-density areas like railway stations. What are we learning from 26/11 ?

It makes me wonder what has happened to plans like this that date back to December, 2004. Has this proposal been implemented ? If not why ? If yes what was the feedback received from the officers on the ground level using them ? Was there a study ever conducted on the necessity of providing sophisticated weapons to officers guarding key installations like the CST and the like ?

Who is Antulay's target ?

Even as the Congress is dilly-dallying on the decision as to retain Antulay in the cabinet or not, it seems to have been caught in its own web. Or has it not realised that Antulay is actually pointing fingers at his own party colleagues.

Every extra minute the congress takes to crack down on him is providing some extra credence to Antulay's remarks.

Antulay started off saying Hemant Karkare's death should be probed. He later retracted and changed his version, now suggesting that Hemant Karkare may have actually fallen for the terrorists bullets, but is demanding a probe to ascertain who had ordered Karkare to be there when he was shot at.

If we look from a cynic's view, the controversy has erupted because Karkare, before the terror attacks on Mumbai, was investigating the alleged role of supposed Hindu terrorists in the Malegoan blasts case, and raising a question on his death was nothing but suggesting that there was a role played in it by people who did not like the man investigating the Malegaon blasts case.

The role of elements from our country being directly responsible for Karkare's death stands ruled out, as Antulay is now not questioning Karkare's death but seeking to know whose orders made sure Karkare was at the Kama Hospital.

The simple reasoning is that nobody other than some highly placed officials of the Maharasthra Police or Govt., or an elected representative who was at the helm of the affairs can order an official of Karkare's stature to go and be somewhere.

Now the dilemma. Is Antulay suspecting the govt of Maharashtra, which is being lead by the Congress-his own party, or any other highly placed bureaucrat. Should he really suspect the role of any goverment servant, Police or otherwise, the Congress, I guess, would be least hesitant to order a probe into the matter.

But what if Antulay is pointing the finger of suspicion at elected officials who undoubtedly belong either to the Congress or its ruling partner the NCP ? This would cause a lot of embarassment to the party. Would it not ? Because this version aims to point at a supposed nexus between some Congress party leaders and supposed religious extremists, which if true, would not only damage the reputation but also destroy the party as well. Well then, is this the reason the Congress is taking too much of a time to decide on the Antulay's fate ?

Or is this conspiracy theory all trash and the Congress' leadership is a bunch of spineless people, as they have proven to be more so often in the recent past, that is reluctant to cleanse itself of a rotten tomato within its ranks for fear of losing the minority vote as the man in question, who is gone rogue in my opinion, is from a minority community ?

I would like to believe the last reasoning is true as it is easier to digest and earlier versions are nightmarish.

Throw Antulay out of the Cabinet

If the media reports are to be believed then this guy, A R Antulay has submitted his resignation. I wish the Prime Minister shall not accept it and instead sack him from the Union Cabinet.

Show us some spirit Mr. Prime Minister. Let us not dignify these sick maniacs by letting them do things their own way. Show him the door and his rightful place.

The Congress should also come clear if it upholds the views of Antulay when he says that his party should be proud of his comments. If else they should get rid of him from the party as well.

Another joke from Pakistan

I just can't stop laughing at the jokes that keep coming from Pakistan's public personalities. This time it is Zaheer Abbas, one of the cricketing greats the country has produced. (Believe it or not he has more than 100 first class centuries to his name)

Here is an excerpt of what he said:

If India does not agree to tour our country then the board must think about having cricket relations with them. If they don't want to play us we should think likewise...They must tour. It is good for relations between the two countries. But if they don't want to come then we should also not go after them to convince them.

Any one who reads this might misunderstand the entire issue and think that it is Indian cricket that needs Pakistan's and not the otherway around.

Mr Abbas thinks there is a way out of snapping cricketing ties with India for the Pakistani cricketing community. Poor soul. If Mr. Abbas wants Pakistan to snap cricketing ties with India, please do it rightaway. And after that go ahead and play cricket with teams like Kenya, Zimbabwe (and get paid billions of Zimbabwian dollars) which have already been ostracized from the cricketing community for either being rogue nations or being ruled by rogues. They will find some good company there.

 Actually thats where they belong. All this while they had been in company that they didn't deserve owing to the largesse of the UN and the extraordinary sleep-as-Pakistan-goes-rogue-over-a-decade policies of the United States.

By the way I wish PCB good luck.

Zardari and Pakistan : Playing the clever victim

Perhaps no other country manipulates the world media like Pakistan does. Or rather no other country's leaders have proven to be as efficient in managing media like those from Pakistan.

We have seen it with Benazir Bhutto booted out of her own country on allegations of corruption even as her husband was put behind bars. She played the victim with such grace and perfection that even the best PR guys of the world would have a lesson or two to learn from it.

Now comes General Musharraf who ruled Pakistan as a military dictator anointing himself as the President and posing to the world as someone who has brought good and hope back to the hell (Pakistan). He was so graceful when he visited the US to promote his book on the back of an international summit in the US and took time off to visit every other late night comedy show to give answers on the controversy that he himself helped create to sell his book.

Now comes Ms. Bhutto back from London where she lived in exile after striking a deal with the 'brutal military dictator' posing as someone who is sacrificing everything of her life whereas in reality she struck a deal with the General that she shall not be arrested upon her return and her husband shall be acquitted of all charges and released from prison where he stayed for almost a decade.

Then comes the master of all Asif Ali Zardari. He beats everyone to it when he plays the victim. I have not seen a single interview of his where he would not say "has anyone suffered more than my children and I have" pointing to the death of his wife in a suicide attack that killed scores of ordinary people as well. He throws this line at anyone and everyone who would ask him about the menace of terrorism that has deep roots in Pakistan owing to the decades old complicity of the ruling establishments from time to time.

In the immediate aftermath of the Mumbai attacks he started off saying his heart bleeds for Indians and the pain they are going through. Then he tries to blame who he calls "NON STATE ACTORS" who do not operate from the confines of any borders. After a couple of weeks into the brutal attack on Mumbai, today he says he is responsible for the Non state actors as well if they operate from his country. And as clever as anyother Pakistani leader he again says India should provide evidence. What more of an evidence does he need to follow up on the lead of the father who has recognised his son who was the only terrorist caught alive ?

This is Zardari for the world. The best public relations manager I have ever seen, I mean when he addresses world media. His popularity in his own country is debatable though. Without a doubt, as I put all of his statements together, I can say he does not mean anything he says and all he is doing is just a touch up so he would be perceived as someone who means what he says.

And that is Pakistan for the world. Be a silent spectator to what has been brewing up in its own backyard, let it spill over to other countries by providing assistance of all kinds including cover fire when they try to infiltrate into Kashmir from the other side. And now it is the same Pakistan that is playing the victim as the agents that they helped build and amass ammunition take on their own ilk.

Pakistan and its Rogues

I really fail to understand the locus standi of a charity organisation  ( as they fondly call themselves or would like the the whole world to believe them to be )  the Jamaat-ud-Dawa asking for Narendra Modi to be handed over because of what has happened in Gujarat.

He supports the freedom movement in Kashmir. We think it is right. It is ridiculous to call him a terrorist. When India is even pricked by a thorn, the whole world stands up. Why did Condoleezza Rice not put pressure on India for handing over Narendra Modi after the Gujarat carnage?

The He here was LeT leader Hafeez Sayeed. To say that all they do is educate children and provide healthcare to the needy people of Pakistan and also agree with the LeT leader's views and ideology is a paradox of gigantic proportions which convinces any sensibe individual that the JUD is still a Lashkar organisation.

The JUD spokesperson goes on to say that the LeT may have bought weapons from the money provided to them by the JUD and that they are not supporting the LeT anymore but still agrees with all of LeT's views. 

Also it does make me feel for rogue state of mind of such terrorist sympathisers who fondly call terrorists in Kashmir freedom fighters and ask for Narendra Modi's head for what has happened in Gujarat in 2002. While Modi's alleged role in fanning communal passions is still questionable, something we can all agree upon is that he and his administration has slept on the entire carnage across Gujarat. But handover him to who ? and Why ? 

Last week I read some other reports from Pakistan asking for Advani to be handed over. The question is why would we handover anyone to Pakistan. They haven't plotted anything against Pakistan or its citizens. Or is Pakistan thinking that they represent the muslims from all over the world. If there is anyone to be handed over to Pakistan or its people its their Politicians who have let their country down and turning Pakistan into a big joke in the world. Or perhaps its military dictators from time to time who supressed and opressed freedom of its own citizens. How could people who cannot rule themselves, protect themseves, speak for their own like seek to speak on behalf of someone else.

Alright. Even if we agree on a tit for tat handover, chances are that many parts of Pakistan would end up being emptied after every other terror affected country in the world gets the people on its list of most wanted terrorists.

Pakistan is nothing but a rogue state. If we look at the world there is only two countries in the world that get such coverage the world over. Not because they are important to the world but because of the state they are in and the state that they would frequently put themselves in. They are Pakistan and Zimbabwe. For being a laughing stock of the world. For being a failed state. For failing its own citizens. For failing the very cause of its own existence. 

I mean going rogue is ok. But to try to change the whole country rogue is what the terrorists do. But to let it go rogue any more then it is already is not good for any of us. Because we cannot let the rogueness spread over to the world.

International Media on Mumbai attacks

I am coming here from rediff's artice on MJ Akbar's letter to the BBC denouncing its coverage on Mumbai attacks and their bias where they would call a spade a spade if the case was England's and shy away from doing so in the case of attacks on India.

This made me think about the general coverage and reporting the foreign media has been doing during and in the aftermath of, the Mumbai terror attacks.

The Guardian has taken the first lead and ventured upto the terrorists home village in Pakistan to find out if the only terrorist caught alive belonged to there as was revealed by the Indian media reports. Observer ( another publication from guardian) prudently followed it up and actually brought the terrorists father's confession that the man in question was indeed his son. This was a very vital finding since for long Pakistan has been denying any role by its citizens in the attack.  

This reporting I would say was phenomenal. Even Pakistan's very own Dawn newspaper has been doing a commendable job, if one would excuse its occassional jibes at the Indian media and some sections of the politics who it calls Hindu extremist Parties, read BJP.

The joke called 'Javed Miandad' from Pakistan

Javed Miandad says India should tour Pakistan. Oh ! really. What for ? So you have the entire Indian team bombed by your relative Dawood Ibrahim who is a globally wanted terrorist !!

He says:

 Both India and Pakistan are victims of terrorism 

and cricket will bridge the gap between the two nations....This is

 the right time for the Asian bloc to show some solidarity by 

coming together and assuring the world that the subcontinent is 

safe for cricket.

I ask "why would you not set an example by sharing with Indian authorities the wherabouts of the man whose family your son is married into, Dawood Ibrahim ?"

Will that not be the real show of solidarity. I think it would also be right to remind him how he has refused to admit his meeting with Dawood Ibrahim before the much reported ceremony  in Dubai.

I'll tell you what Javed. We welcome you and your entire clan to India. We can all have fun, go fishing, karting, play cricket and have all kinds of fun and gift your relative Dawood a tourism package so he could go on a location hunting spree to choose the next places he wants to bomb in India.

Hell with cricket. Pakistan should be crippled in every way it can be until it takes solid actions and not the much touted 'house-arrests'.

The annoyance called Celebrities

Two weeks and we are now witnessing the tragedy dramas of the queens and the kings and bollywood.

It started with Simi garewal on NDTV two days after the incident and had by now covered everyone whos worth talking something about in B-town. 

Shahrukh khan said he is staying quiet because he wanted to avoid controversy which makes me think about what he would have said that could have raged into a controversy. He probably would have said India and Pakistan are brothers and Pakistan is like a second home to him and that Indians and Pakistanis should stay united and hold hands in the hour of crisis, like he would always say. I know this is all my imagination. Although he has always maintained a similar stance about Pakistan I guess he didn't have the courage to say that this time around.

Now comes Aamir Khan whose film Ghazni is releasing soon. He feels there is a leadership vaccum in the country right now.  

This is not enough. I want more. How about bringing their spouses as well and interviewing them. Would it not be a very 'different' idea. Losers !!

Is the Police really Dumb ?

All the sympathy that I have had for the policing authorities of our country in the aftermath of the Mumbai carnage is receding as I read reports like these:

1. In this incident police in Hyderabad, on a tip-off from its informers that a SIMI activist wanted by the police has arrived in the city, had gone to nab him literally unarmed. Being the kind of professionals they were the suspected terrorists when approached by the police resorted to firing at the police and managed to escape through the busy streets of old city. Resulting in two policeman being injured, one of them seriously.

What I do not get is what was going through the policemen's minds when they set out to catch these guys. Did they think they were going for a pick-pocketer ? Lucky to getaway with injuries and no casualties.

2. This incident happened just today. School going teenagers were being used by the local police to keep an eye on any suspicious movements of people along the Prime Minister's cavalcade route from atop trees. How stupid ? How would a kid know the difference between an ordinary guy and a terrorist, just in case a terrorist would come in a t-shirt and cargo trouser like they did in the Mumbai attacks ?

After what had happened in the past week could we afford to commit any more mistakes. Could our authorities not respond to the needs of the hour? What have we learnt from the most daring attacks ever on our society ? I always thought we could do better.

India has proof of ISI invovlement in Mumbai attacks

I read this report on how and why the Indian agencies have been holding back from divulging details of incriminating evidence pointing to the ISI's involvement in the Mumbai attacks.

If it is true then I don't think it is the right thing to do.

Should I choose between having a good relationship with an incompetent Pakistani govt. that would refuse/fail to call a spade a spade, fail miserably in addressing those perpetrators of terrorism and pushing the Pakistani govt to the wall by revealing all incriminating evidences and calling its attention to act tough on such forces by bring all kinds of pressures against it, I would without a doubt choose the latter.

Since the reasoning that escalating tensions with India would make Pakistan redeploy troops from their western borders to the east which would inturn hurt its prospects of fighting terrorism on that front is not convincing enough as this would not help address the root

causes of terrorism that operatives on its eastern border. Lesser the pressure on the Pakistan government less likely would it be willing to react to calls for a crack down on terror operatives launching out from its own soil.

Why should we not trust Pakistan ?

In the past two days we have seen Pakistan's president Mr.Zardari say there is no Pakistani hand in the Mumbai attack whatsoever. Which does not surprise me.

He turned down India's demand to handover its most wanted terrorists who are relaxing in their safe havens inside Pakistan. That does not surprise me either.

Instead he asks India to share with him the evidence it has so he can try them in a court of law in Pakistan and have them punished. This does surprise me. Why ? Two reasons.

Reason 1:

All these years Pakistan has denied that a man by the name Dawood Ibrahim resides in Pakistan despite repeated requests/demands by the Indian Government. But yesterday, quite contrastingly, he refuses to handover the terrorists instead of denying their existence in pakistan which is nothing less than admitting their existence in Pakistan.

Reason 2:

What has Pakistan done when the father of its missile program was accused of proliferation ? They did not deny it but put him under 'house arrest'. They deny IAEA access to the arrested former scientist. He has never been investigated despite the issue here being something as grave as Nuclear proliferation.

Now asking India to provide/share evidence on Mumbai attacks with a promise of action against culprits does not stand a reason. Who are you trying to bluff Mr. President ?

Achutanandan's remarks..

A lot is being made from Achutanandan's reported remarks against the family of slain NSG Major Mr. Unnikrishnan. I should admit here that I think the Chief minister should have observed some restraint in reacting to the Major's father's reported slurs at him.

The only question at the back of my mind is: Why should he visit the late Major's residence in Bangalore at all ?

If it wasn't to impress upon the people of his state, he should not have visited at all. After all Major Unnikrishnan has died for the country and not for Kerala and the nearest top ranking politician i.e. the Karnataka CM has already visited to pay respect to the national hero and his family.

update:

Just watched the video of Major's father turning away the Kerala CM and HM. It was disgusting to see someone say naayinglaa (meaning dogs) and pongada (chal nikal re in hindi) to people of such high positions. Its not acceptable in anyway. He didn't have any moral right to abuse a peoples representative in that manner.

Media coverage of the Mumbai siege

How about this.

You approach an opposition leader and ask him his views on the attacks in Mumbai. He starts off saying this is a dastardly attack on the soverignity of the nation and all Indians should stay united.

You ask him who is responsible for Mumbai or India being so vulnerable. He replies saying its the central government thats reponsible to the security of the country and also iterates that the Union govt has failed in its primary responsiblity of protecting the citizens.

Cut the scene. He is gone. Now you start transmitting images of the politician blaming the govt for its failure and repeatedly say "the politicisation of the issue has already started".

Now starts the real tamasha. You start blaming the union govt yourselves and repeatedly show the iamges of the former union Home Minister doing the rounds to various terror affected sites over the past few years and broadcast his statements from each occasion.

Hang on a second. Are you not politicising the issue. This is what the other guy did as well. If that could be called politicising then why should what you are doing called politicising.

This is how the general coverage of the entire issue in the media has been over the past few days, albeit with a few decent exceptions. On the whole I would say the media's coverage of the issue is a Disgrace.

Bringing a few dozen people on to a television show and riling them all up against the politicians does not come any closer to promoting unity among the citizens of the country. Grow up guys.